A little over one year since
I took guitar lessons and almost one year since I posted my first music
project, Hallelujah on October 22, 2014 (See archive)
Now it’s time to see if I
have made any progress at all given tight schedule due to various pivotal left-brain
activities during this past year. Recently, I
recorded the second song, “Can’t Help Falling In Love” originally sung by Elvis. However, I didn’t
want to release it until I finish writing on this subject of LOVE, specifically
romantic which include passionate physical love. I want to write on this kind of love for the
following reasons: 1) I’m interested in brain health and learned that there is
a connection between brain and love especially romantic love. 2) Romantic love is what God describes as
His love toward his people; there is even an entire book in the Bible
describing the feelings of the two lovers toward each other. And 3) I love mushy love songs because they
make me feel good.
Romantic Love and Health
There is an old Thai saying:
“Where there is love, there is sorrow”, which probably refers to the result of
unfulfilled passionate love. With this view,
love becomes undesirable to have. When
one’s love is not reciprocated, you have the condition that is called “broken
heart”. Actually there is a medical
syndrome that is common among those unlucky in love because of divorce, finding
out that one’s spouse cheated on them, or the love of their lives pass away. According to Sara Sirna, MD in
Sciencedaily,com, the condition is similar to a heart attack. The underlying cause is unknown but is
thought to be secondary to the release of adrenalin and other stress hormones
that have a destructive effect on the heart.
I read sometime ago that
employers in China allowed three days for an employee who was broken heart to
take three days off work. Not sure
whether three days is enough to mend the broken heart. For myself, having experienced both divorce
and death of a spouse, it took sometime to heal. I still remember the shortness of breath, and
a feeling of being in a dark world alone., thoughts of sleeping and never to
wake up again came into my mind then.
Thank God that these unfortunate experiences that the Lord allow to
happen have passed, and I have learned to pick myself back up, and live again. Whenever I fall, I remind myself that I’m
God’s beloved princess, and that helps in the healing process.
There are songs that
expressed the feelings of darkness of this broken-heart condition and how one
let go and move on. One that comes to
mind is Alison Krauss’ “I Can Let Go Now”, sung by Michael McDonald or Sara Bareilless
with Nathan East: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BuH6DbVQQSQ&list=RDBuH6DbVQQSQ#t=66 There
are others such as “Chain of Fools” by Eva Cassidy or Linda Ronstadt’s “You’re
No Good”
Despite the potential
negative side of love, there are people who would venture into it again even
though it means they have to take risk and become vulnerable. Sometime falling in love could be a split
second, and it may last a lifetime. The
magic of love at first sight may be transitioned into a peaceful feeling like
being at home, secure and safe. Substances
that are responsible for making our cheeks flush, palms sweat and our hearts race
are: dopamine, adrenaline, and norepinephrine, all feel-good chemicals. In contrast to other kinds of love, such as
love of mother and child, love and mercy toward other human being that promoted
healings, the romantic love has an added element of imagery in the brain that
makes one feels alive and euphoric.
Researchers found that MRI
scans show love lights up the pleasure center of the brain, the same part of
the brain implicated in obsessive-compulsive behaviors and fixation on our
partners. Experts said that falling in love could elicit not only the same euphoric feeling as using cocaine, but also affected intellectual areas of the brain. The good feelings cause one to be like a fool as described in the song “Cant Help Falling In Love” made famous by
Elvis Presley.
“Wise men say only fools rush
in,
But I can’t help falling in
love with you…”
This is the song that is my theme for this
blog post, my third music project on my Youtube Channel WaneeCJ.
In the initial phases of desire
and attraction driven by hormone, we might idealize our partner and see only
things we want to see; thus the phrase “love is blind” is true here. After the initial phase, we will go into the attachment
phase. During the attachment phase,
Endorphins and hormones vasopressin and oxytocin flood the body, creating an
overall sense of wellbeing and security, leading to long lasting
relationship. Which is described at the
end of Michael Buble’s song “Close Your Eyes”:
“You’re the reason why I’m
breathing.
With a little look my way
You’re the reason that I’m
feeling
It’s finally safe to stay!”
The feeling of someone you
can call home, that’s when you decide to enter into marriage like my beautiful friend
from Europe, Anna Olivia, who recently got married to her handsome man, Tom
Fairless. By the way, one of these days Anna and I want to sing a duet of one of Shanai Twain's songs, Endless Love...But wait, she will be too busy singing with her Beau!
View of Romantic and Physical Love in the Bible
In contrast to the idea of
love as a chain that leads you to sorrow, which can only cease by severing the
feeling which is ranked at the same level of feelings as greed, anger,
obsession, Christian Bible celebrates a beautiful romantic and sexual love as
read in the book of “the Song of Solomon”.
The love of a man and a woman portrayed in the Song of Solomon is a
metaphor for the love of God toward the nation of Israel. In the New
Testament, the love of Christ toward His church, is portrayed as His
beautiful bride. In the Song of Solomon,
there is deep love of a husband towards his bride, and deep feeling of yearning
of the bride towards her husband (Chapter 5:10-14):
“My beloved is dazzling and
ruddy,
Outstanding among ten
thousand,
His head is like gold, pure
gold;
His locks are like cluster of
dates,
And black as raven.
His eyes are like doves,
Beside streams of water,
Bathed in milk, and reposed
in their setting.
His cheeks are like a bed of
balsam,
Banks of sweet scented herbs;
His lips are lilies, dripping
with liquid myrth.
His hands are rods of gold,
set with beryl
His abdomen is carved ivory
Inlaid with sapphires…”
And for the man towards his
bride (Chapter7: 6-9)
“How beautiful and how
delightful you are,
My love, with all your
charms!
Your stature is like a palm
tree,
And your breasts are like its
clusters.
I said, ‘I will climb the
palm tree,
I will take hold of its fruit
stalks.’
Oh, may your breasts be like
clusters of the vine,
And the fragrance of your
breath like apples,
And your mouth like the best
wine!”
The feeling of yearning of
the bride is described as “Love Sick” (Chapter 2 Verse 3-6):
“Like an apple tree among the
trees of the forest,
So is my beloved among the
young men.
In his shade I took great
delight and sat down,
And his fruit was sweet to my
taste.
He has brought me to his
banquet hall,
And his banner over me is
love.
Sustain me with raisin cakes,
Refresh me with apples,
because I am lovesick.
Let his left hand be under my
head
And his right hand embrace
me.”
We should not confuse these
feelings of physical and sexual longing with just lust. There was a story of Amnon, a son of King
David, who was described as being lovesick for his half sister, Tamar. He asked his father, King David to send for
Tamar to take care of him during his sickness, but it was all lust as he raped
her. After the rape, Amnon chased Tamar
out of his house harshly. The so-called
love changed suddenly to hatred. (See 2
Samuel 13 for the full story.) Loveless
lust has no place in God’s eternal kingdom.
It was a tragedy of intra-family struggles resulting from actions of
King David during his weak moments, who even though was called “the man after
God’s own heart” through God's grace, failed in his family life. He had to reap the consequences not
only in his life time, but also the life time of his children.
In the book Song of Solomon, the physical love
is beautiful and not coercing some one against his or her will as described
here (Chapter 2 Verse 7):
“I adjured you, O daughters
of Jerusalem,
By gazelles or by the hinds
of the field,
That you will not arouse or
awaken my love,
Until she pleases.”
Love Songs
The physical love of a
married couple is sacred, creating a deep exclusive spiritual bond for each
other that God has blessed. It is so
beautiful and is celebrated in many of the songs that I like. That’s why I love mushy love songs. I hope I would be able to use this right side
of my brain to write songs and tell stories that describe these wonderful
feelings and emotions in the future. For
now, it’s just a baby step forward finishing my third song project. I’m glad that I finished it and even though it
is far from perfect, I feel accomplished.
Again, thanks to my music professor and best friend, David (Young Professor)
C. Cowan for the inspiration, critiques, and patience. Enjoy my Cover Elvis’ song “Can’t Help
Falling In Love” everyone! Also, don’t
forget to subscribe to my channel WaneeCJ because there will be more songs and
other cool stuffs to come!!
Thanks Stephanie. "Wait on God to send you the right one" is the right approach. :)
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